Like this:

We did it.  We survived!  More than that  – we rocked.  I really, really had to do this again. I was desperate to get a new morning and afternoon routine.  Didn’t even have to be new – any routine!  I knew I was hovering and reminding and all that bad stuff.  So DNSN before the routines….

It was ugly, messy and late.  I was definitely stressed, but other times when I was blissfully enjoying my new role of  “fun lady in the corner”!   It always hard – but it’s also kind of wonderful because instead of cleaning the kitchen while passively-aggressively shouting “it’s 7:10 time to get upstairs”, I was laying on my daughter’s bed with her and hearing all these great details about her day.    The mess – omg the mess.  It was epic.  Food left out for days , dishes balancing in stacks, clothes on every floor surface.  It really did look like a frat house on a Monday morning (minus the stale beer smell but replaced with stale milk.)  The good news is that these amazing kids  did surprise me in more than a few ways.

There was great cooperation on their parts when I was unavailable to help.  They spoke to me in the nicest voices (thinking it would get more help) with tons of “would you be willing’s”!  They choose to clear their plates (days later but still!).  Annie did her wipe board  – and included every compartment of her lunchbox – not just a word that says “lunch”.  There was resiliency  – the whining just fizzled into silence when it got no reaction from me.    Things they didn’t think they could do – turned into things they could do (lunch making, finding missing clothes, locating backpack).  Really cool – and very eye opening to me to see how my “help” is truly, honestly, downright “interference”.  People were really happy and calm.  Interesting….  A few photo’s of the cooperation and the ensuing mess.

When we were all done – we had a meeting to talk about what happened and what surprised them, etc.  It was too long (again….too much talking by me!) but I got some big whoppers on video … Mostly from my 6 year old!  I know only three of you read this blog so I had the courage to upload the hard evidence of my inability to keep my mouth shut!  Video One & Video Two.

Now onwards.  I heard an amazing tele-class through the forum a month or so ago and it hit me hard.  (Sometimes you just have to be in the right state of mind to have a message FINALLY sink in.)  I get it now – it’s not about being on time.  It’s not about a clean house.  It’s not about them doing their contribution.  It’s about your relationship with them.  The rest will (magically?) fall into place when they feel capable, engaged in their lives, adored by those they live with.

Something like that!

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