Like this:

I just walked down to the kitchen after putting the girls to bed to see two things – a pile of sticker and a pizza crust.  It speaks volumes to where I am these days!

To back up – I cleaned out my “junk” drawer today and found tons of stuff the girls would like. I let them divide it up and said that they just needed to get it out of the kitchen, up to their rooms, and find a good spot for it.  Well it sat there…..and sat there… until the next meal.  Then Annie literally swept her pile onto the floor.  I didn’t do any of the following  (as tempted as I might have been)

a)    screamed and yelled “pick that up right now YOUNG LADY”!

b)   picked it up for her.

I did see it later when she needed something and thought about the “as soon as” but went for the connection moment instead.  And – to be fully honest – due to overuse  Annie – will steer clear of anything that comes with an “as soon as” these days.

At dinner the girls were beginning to bicker about something.   They each started needling eachother and instead of distracting – I said something about our restaurant rules and the grandparents upcoming visit.  WHIZZZZ a pizza crust went flying by my head – Emily!  It actually (bless her heart) got us all laughing. I guess I can give myself some credit for not doing the above listed “a)” and just acting shocked.    We laughed but I did let her know it needed to be picked up.  Even did a little dance near the pizza when she was walking by.

But now I’m done putting them to bed and the pizza and pile o’ stickers is still on the floor.    So I think this shows I’m halfway there.  I’m not directing but I’m not standing firm on the things I ask for.  I’m a recovering dictator who’s listing into the permissive side.   If I ask for something – mean it and follow through.  Sounds easy.  But I am pretty sure I’ve even posted about it recently and still haven’t mastered it.

I chatted with Vicki recently regarding a forum post and she said something that really resonated with me.  “Think of how this kid is interpreting this situation?  Don’t think about their behavior – think of how they see it.”  I think this is so helpful for me – do I usually pick this stuff up despite asking them 10 times.  Probably – so they are just interpreting this as part of my cleanup routine!

For now – I’ve picked the stuff up .  Tomorrow’s a new day for me and those awesome kids.

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